That Stupid Cat
by chattie98
Summary: One Shot: It was the cat's fault really. None of this would of happened if that stupid cat didn't exist. Or at least that's what Eponine claims. But no matter whose to blame, it doesn't change the fact that she's stuck in detention, waiting to get out. (Bonus Drabble posted)
1. That Stupid Cat

**Author's Note: This oneshot is dedicated to two of my favorite Les Mis tumblr blogs: enjolraswould and textsfromcourfeyrac. They each made a post that inspired this fic, and you should totally check them out! (The links to said post are in the bottom authors note) Anyway, I hope you enjoy it and if you see any mistakes don't hesitate to point them out! Thanks!**

**-M**

* * *

_**TIME - 3:45**_

Eponine approached Room 207, a classroom she was all too familiar with. Room 207 was reserved especially for detention, and Eponine had received plenty of detentions during her time at St. Bienvenu's High School.

A young teacher was grading papers as Eponine entered, "Name?" she asked without looking up from her work.

Eponine walked towards the bookshelf and picked up a dictionary. "Good afternoon, Mrs. Brics."

The woman looked up and smiled. "And to you, Eponine." Mrs. Brics, the eleventh grade English teacher and detention monitor, was quite fond of Eponine due to her exceptional performance in English class and amusing pranks. Eponine liked Mrs. Brics because Mrs. Brics liked her. "I should have known you'd be here today. The whole incident during assembly today, that was you wasn't it?."

Eponine tucked a strand of brown her behind her ear, "That wasn't me."

"Really?" Eponine rolled her eyes at the teachers surprise, "Well, what are you here for?"

Eponine fiddled with the pages of the dictionary, "Well technically, I am here for what happened at assembly…" She received a pointed glance from her teacher, "But I didn't do it!" she added.

Mrs. Brics shook her head and smiled, "You know what to do, Eponine: take your dictionary, sit down, and start writing. There's a seat open by Enjolras."

At the last word Eponine's mouth dropped slightly. Enjolras was in detention? St. Bienvenu's model student had done something wrong? What had the world come to? She quickly scanned the classroom, looking for the boy. She saw the usual detentions goers, and then her eyes fell upon a certain senior with curly blonde hair, blue eyes, and "angelic features" according to almost all the girls at St. Bienvenu.

Eponine smiled and plopped down in the seat next to him, "How on earth did the perfect Greek statue get detention?" she teased.

"Eponine Thenadier, it would behoove you to quiet down." Mrs. Brics called her out, "Other students are trying to work." Eponine nodded and once Mrs. Brics looked away she poked Enjolras.

"Go away, Eponine, I'm trying to write." He replied, keeping his voice low so that Mrs. Brics wouldn't hear.

Eponine lowered her voice to a whisper, "Sorry, I can't leave. I have detention, in case you haven't noticed." Enjolras refused to respond and continued writing. Eponine looked at him and realized the dictionary wasn't even open. "You're not copying your definitions, Enjy. Are you trying to show the system they don't have power over you?"

Silence.

Eponine poked him with her pencil "If you're not writing your definitions," she whispered, "what are you writing? A speech for when you become our nation's president? Or perhaps it is a love letter, written to a beautiful lady whom you wish to marry and have precious blonde babies with."

All she received was a glare from a pair of piercing blue eyes. Eponine smiled cheekily in response and snatched the paper off his desk.

"Eponine, give that back." He hissed quietly so that the teacher couldn't hear.

"The marble man speaks once again! I am simply agog." She exclaimed placing a hand over her chest, "Now let's see what this paper is all about, hmm?" Eponine glanced over it, "It looks boring."

"That's my history paper." Enjolras snatched it back.

"Case in point."

"Could you please stop being so vexatious, or are you incapable of doing so?" Enjolras retorted.

"I am not vexatious!"

"I'm surprised you know such a big word."

Eponine smiled and picked her dictionary, "Enjy, over the past few years I've rewritten this whole thing. I know almost every word in the English language."

"Stop calling me Enjy." He hissed.

Eponine's grin grew wider, "Enjy, Enjy, Enjy, Enjy, Enjy, Enj-"

Enjolras groaned loudly in annoyance, and gained Mrs. Brics's attention, "Enjolras," Mrs. Brics warned, "I think you're wonderful student, but I would hate to have you come here tomorrow. So please, be quiet."

"Yes, Ma'am." Enjolras replied and then he glared at Eponine, "Thanks."

The brunette poked at Enjolras repeatedly, "If you tell me what you did to get here, I'll stop."

Enjolras sighed and handed Eponine his detention slip, "Now leave me alone."

"What?" Eponine shouted after she read the paper.

Mrs. Brics looked up from her work, "Eponine, be quiet!"

Eponine lowered her voice to a whisper, "You made a teacher cry?" She was completely shocked. Enjolras could come off as a little distant and he wasn't exactly a "Share-your-feelings" type of guy, but he wasn't mean. He was a good person, and despite the fact that he could be harshly frank at some times, everything he said was in someone else's best interest and never meant to be rude.

"Look, I wasn't trying to. And to be honest, it wasn't really my fault." He said, putting his arms up in defense, "Our history class was having an open debate about the French Monarchy, we were learning about the revolution. She started saying some things I didn't agree with, and then when I replied with my own views she got really defensive. She ended up asking the class if they would rather be taught by her or myself and all the students said, 'Enjolras'. Then she started crying and ran out of the room."

"And then she gave you a detention." Eponine stated.

Enjolras nodded, "This punishment is extremely idiotic, considering I did nothing wrong. Honestly, what did she expect? She behaved immaturely and as a result, she hurt herself. I shouldn't even be here."

"I suppose we've both been unjustly punished today." Eponine sighed.

"Both of us?" Enjolras looked at the girl skeptically, "I pretty sure that prank you pulled in assembly today deserved a detention."

"It wasn't me!"

"Then please, enlighten me." Enjolras set his pen down and gave Eponine his full attention, "What really happened?"

"Well," Eponine began her story, "It all started this morning with Courfeyrac and his stupid cat…"

* * *

_**Flash Back to 8:00 AM:**_

"What the hell, Courfeyrac?" Eponine shouted to her friend as she stared at what was in his backpack. "You don't bring a cat to school! Especially not stray ones that you find in a parking lot! And you sure as hell don't put them in your book bag!"

Courfeyrac picked up the kitten and brought it to his face, "But Ep, he was cold!"

"It's the middle of May and quite warm." Eponine replied, "And get that cat away from your face. You'll get worms"

"I accidentally took my cat's heart-worm medicine last week instead of pain reliever. I should be okay if this little guy has them." Courfeyrac smiled and continued playing with the kitty.

Eponine groaned and slammed her head against her locker, "You have got to be kidding me."

"Nope, I'm heart-worm free for ninety days." Courfeyrac held the kitten towards Eponine, "Just look at him, Ep."

Eponine turned towards the kitten. He was a grey tabby, with white socked feet, a pale pink nose, and the biggest most beautiful blue eyes that have ever been seen on a cat. Eponine couldn't help but pet the kitty affectionately, "What's his name?" she asked, her tone suddenly gentle as the kitten snuggled against her hand.

"Courfeyrac."

Eponine stopped petting the cat and looked at her friend, "For Christ sake, Courf! You can't name the cat after yourself!"

"Why not?" Courfeyrac pulled the kitten away from Eponine and let it cuddle against his chest, "I think it's a wonderful name, and very fitting for a cat as handsome as this little fellow."

Eponine frowned at her friend, "You can't name him that for two reasons: one, it's extremely shallow and two, you already named your other cat Courfeyrac. So not only would it be confusing, but also you would seem twice as self absorbed."

Courfeyrac covered the kittens ears, "Shhh," he whispered to the tabby, "Ep's just jealous she doesn't have such an awesome name like you."

"Oh sure," Eponine muttered as she got her books from her locker, "I'm jealous of a cat."

"Of course you are," Courfeyrac replied with a large grin spreading across his impish face, "You want me to hold you in my arms and let you snuggle against me, just like this kitten."

Eponine smiled innocently at Courfeyrac, "Can I hold the cat for a second?" Eponine took the cat without waiting for a response, hit Courfeyrac with a book, and then handed the kitten back. "I didn't want the cat to get hurt." Eponine explained.

"That was cruel." Courfeyrac rubbed his head, "Anyway, I need you to do me a favor."

"Depends on what it is."

"I have a doctor's appointment later today, and I can't really take kitty-Courf with me. So I was wonde-"

"No."

"But, Ep!"

"No."

"Eponine, come on. It just for an hour and a half."

"No."

"Look at him, Ep."

The kitten, cuddled perfectly in Courfeyrac's arms was sleeping. Eponine softened sligthly and suddenly kitty-Courf let out a small sneeze. Eponine pointed a finger accusingly at her friend, "You made him do that."

"What?" Courfeyrac seemed extremely confused, "How, could I possibly-"

"I don't know how, but you did!" Eponine slammed her locker and picked up her books, "You tried to trick me into babysitting that cat by making it act adorable. Well you know what Courf? I am not buying it!"

Eponine stormed off leaving a lonely Courfeyrac and his namesake, "Well," Courfeyrac scratched his new cat behind it's ears, "Someone seems to be PMS-ing ."

_**10:30 AM:**_

Eponine was sitting in pre-calculus doodling in her notebook when she got a text from Courfeyrac.

_ EP, MAJOR PROBLEM! MEET ME BY YOUR LOCKER! ASAP! – C_

Before she could write back she got another text,

_AND BRING MARIUS! - C_

She thought for a second before replying. Courfeyrac seemed genuinely in need of some kind of help and Marius was needed, so this couldn't be so Courf could beg her to baby-sit. On top of all that it gave her some time alone with Marius, a boy she had been in love with since the seventh grade.

_Fine, we'll be right over – Ep_

Eponine leaned towards Marius, who was sitting in front of her, and showed him the text. "What's wrong with Courfeyrac?" he asked.

"What isn't wrong with him?" Eponine smiled. Marius chuckled and Eponine grinned even wider, she liked his laugh.

Eponine asked the teacher if she could go to the bathroom and Marius asked if he could go to the office, the two walked out of the classroom and quickly made way to Eponine's locker. When they arrived Courfeyrac wasn't there.

But a box with a note was was.

And the box was meowing.

"Damn it, Courfeyrac." Eponine muttered. She picked up the paper and looked at Courfeyrac's note.

_Dear Eponine,_

_Thanks for taking care of Courf-kitty, while I'm at the doctor! I'll be back shortly after the Honor's Society Assembly._

_-Courfeyrac_

_P.S – Hey, Marius, you're not really needed I just didn't want Eponine to think that this was about the cat. Stay sexy. ;)_

Eponine handed the letter to Marius, who groaned in embarrassment when he read it. "Has he made it his life goal to make me feel awkward all the time?"

"Yeah," Eponine teased, "He still talks about the whole 'I have come to sleep with you' thing."

"He told you about that?" Marius chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.

Eponine knelt down towards the box and opened it up, "I think the whole school knows about it." She picked up the kitten and let it nestle in her arms.

"So…" Marius chuckled nervously, eager to change the topic, "What's with the cat?"

Eponine sighed and explained her entire situation to Marius, "and to make matters worse, we have that stupid Honor's Society Assembly everyone has to go to next period and I have no idea what to do with this cat." Eponine held up the tabby for emphasis.

"Well," Marius got Eponine's book bag from her locker, "you said Courfeyrac carried him around in his backpack, let's just put the cat in yours and you can take him to the assembly."

The two emptied out the book bag's contents and placed the kitty in just as the bell rang. "Wait," Eponine said as Marius started zipping up the backpack, "leave it open some so that he can breathe."

Once everything was in order Eponine picked up the book bag and placed it on her back. Then the two of them (and the kitten) headed towards the auditorium for assembly.

Eponine and Marius had just sat down in the auditorium with a few of their friends when the principal, an intimidating bald man, began speaking to the school. He talked about what an accomplish it was to make the Honors Society, and a bunch of other things that made Eponine want to fall asleep. The girl slowly dozed off against Marius' shoulder when suddenly he shook her awake and whispered excitedly, "That's her Eponine!" he pointed to a pretty blonde girl who was walking across the stage to receive a certificate. "That's the girl I told you about yesterday!"

Eponine's face fell into a slight frown, "Yeah, that's Cosette."

"Isn't she wonderful?"

Before Eponine could respond, she spotted something small, grey, and fluffy slip behind the stage curtains, "Oh my God.'

"What?" Marius looked at her as she opened up her book bag and then frantically searched under her seat.

"I think the cat's on stage." Before Marius could react, Eponine got out of her chair and exited the auditorium. She quickly ran around the building and took the back entrance that led backstage.

"Kitty, Kitty!" Eponine called quietly so that the audience on the other side of the curtain wouldn't hear her.

"Meow."

Eponine headed towards the noise and saw the tiny cat sitting next to the doorway that lead to the light and sound booth. "Come on, Kity, come to Epy!" The cat didn't move, and Eponine stepped forward. Right when she was about to pick him up, he walked through the doorway and into the booth.

Eponine found the cat trying to swat the knobs that controlled the auditorium lights, "No, bad kitty." She reached forward to grab him, but it was too late, he had managed to turn one of the dials. Eponine heard the lights shut down and a loud gasp from the students.

Eponine swore under her breath, and then heard loud pop music playing over the loud speakers. She looked at the kitten and saw he was walking across the switchboard. Eponine grabbed the cat, set him on the floor, and was about to cut off the music when she heard someone approach her from behind.

"Eponine Thenadier." It was the principal.

Eponine muttered to herself as she turned around, "I am so killing Courf for getting me into this shit."

**_~END OF FLASHBACK~_**

* * *

"So everything that happened was because of a cat?"

"Exactly."

"Eponine, that's the most absurd excuse I have ever heard." Enjolras looked at Eponine skeptically. "Really, you could of made up something a bit more plausible."

Eponine shrugged her shoulders and looked down at her phone to respond to a text. She grinned to herself and put her phone up.

"What was tha-"

But Enjolras was cut off when a certain cat loving teen burst into the detention room breathing heavily, "Mrs. Brics, I just got a call from Eponine's sister. There's a family emergency and she's needed at the hospital." Courfeyrac ran to the teacher and held out his phone as he spoke madly, "Do you need to call to check? 'Cause I can call right now, but Eponine needs to hurry up and go!"

"No, it's perfectly fine, dear!" The teacher frantically stood up from her desk, "Eponine, get you stuff together, I'm going to explain to the office that your leaving! And if anyone besides Courfeyrac and Eponine leave this room, you'll receive double detention!" Mrs. Brics quickly went out the door and headed to the office.

Courfeyrac smiled at Eponine and gave her a sly wink that she quickly returned. The only other person who caught this exchange was Enjolras. "What the-"

"Oh hey, Enjy." Courfeyrac waved as he casually leaned against the wall, "Whatch'a doing in detention?"

"He made a teacher cry." Eponine answered for him.

Courfeyrac winced, "Harsh."

"Yeah," Eponine replied as she grabbed Courfeyrac and dragged him towards the door, "Now come on, let's go before Mrs. Brics thinks something is going on!" When the two were halfway down the hall Eponine turned around and shouted, "I forgot my backpack!"

The two ran back inside the classroom and Eponine grabbed her book bag, but before they left, Eponine stopped by Enjolras' desk and pulled out a small grey kitten.

"Meow"

Enjolras stared at Eponine, then at the cat, and then back at Eponine, "It- It- really was because of a cat. But h-"

Eponine smiled, "Bye, Enjy!"

"Have fun in detention!" Courfeyrac added gleefully.

Eponine gave the cat to Courfeyrac and the two students sprinted out of the classroom, leaving their very baffled friend behind.

* * *

**AN: I'm, thinking about adding a short bonus chapter in a few days, but until then tell me what you think! :D**

**And as I promised,here are the links to the two post (just remove the spaces): enjolraswould .tumblr post/46133194599/eponinewould-eponine-would-break- into**

** textsfromcourfeyrac .tumblr post/40567428466**


	2. Bonus Drabble

**AN: Here's the bonus ending I promised :)**

**-M**

* * *

Courfeyrac drove out of the school parking lot with Eponine sitting next to him, the kitten curled in her lap. "Sorry about all the trouble he caused." Courfeyrac chuckled as he reached a hand over to pet the cat.

Eponine slapped his arm, "Both hands on the wheel, Courf! I'm not dying minutes after escaping a detention I got because of you and your stupid cat!"

Courfeyrac laughed even louder, "Well am I forgiven?"

"For getting me into that mess?" Eponine thought for a while, "No." She answered simply, as she cuddled with the kitten.

"No?" Courfeyrac asked, "Would you forgive me if I bought you some frozen yogurt?"

"Perhaps." Eponine replied nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders as if she didn't care at all.

Courfeyrac smiled at his friend, his green eyes filled with mirth. Eponine looked at him and tried as hard as she could to remain a stoic face, but Courfeyrac's joy was contagious, and Eponine couldn't help but smile in return. The two drove together in a comfortable silence, and as they were beginning to pull into the mall's parking lot Courfeyrac realized something, "Hey, do you think we should have gotten Enjolras?"

Eponine looked at Courfeyrac and remained silent before waving her hand dismissively, "Nah, he's fine"

Courfeyrac shook his head and smiled, "You're probably right."

* * *

**AN: Hope you liked it, and remember to review! Thanks! **


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